Developing Your Thought Process and Attitude vs. Following the Parents’ Line:

Developing:

The development of your thought process and attitude is the most important aspect of growth and independence. You as a human required to understand the complexities of life, make value-based decisions, and provide for sound judgment. However, most people are very influenced by their parents, especially when they are at a very tender age. This usually well-meaning parent doesn’t always understand, believe, or suggest what the developing self or the changing realities of the world need in the present.

We are going to discuss the importance, the role of parents in shaping your thinking, the challenges of coming out of parental influence, and strategies for independent thought. Then we will talk about some of the questions being asked about this issue.

The Role of Parents in Shaping Your Thinking:

Parents are always the first figures of a child to be taught lessons, values, and worldviews. From right and wrong to how challenges of life are met, parents will teach these things. It is in the earliest years that these lessons profoundly shape the way a child views the world and how he or she reacts to it.
However, such influence of parents is neither always uniform nor always beneficial in the promotion of independence. For instance, parents can:

• Infuse Values: The ethical and moral framework that parents develop over their lives gets transferred to children. Such values may be crucially important in making decisions but may limit otherwise if they fail to assess the changes in an environment.
• Set Expectations: Most parents give some of their ambitions and expectations to their children in terms of careers, lifestyle, or relationships. It is a loving and protective act but destroys the independence of the child.
• Provide Emotional Security: Parenting gives children comfort and emotional security. However, getting so over-dependent on them to regulate their emotions subdues the blossoming of emotional independence. This is what makes it hard for them to go through the struggle without becoming dependent on others.
• Model Behavior: Parents may consciously or unconsciously model behavior accepted by children in thought patterns, coping mechanisms, and worldview, as well.

Develop Your Thinking and Mindset:

Developing:

This is a process that can define your thinking and mindset based on questioning, self-reflection, and decision-making that goes further than believing and assimilating what your ancestors thought or assumed. It involves:

• Critical Thinking: The capacity to question the different educations received and to critically assess ideas and information through various views. Critical thinking challenges assumptions that prompt independent decision-making.
• Self-Awareness: The first aspect of setting your mindset involves knowing who you are—your values, goals, strengths, and weaknesses. It allows you to make choices that fit who you are as a person rather than conforming to the outlook of other people’s expectations.
• Emotional Independence: The ability to control one’s emotions is learned, and this does not necessarily come from one’s parents. There are even ways to develop strategies for dealing with stress, anxiety, and frustration without seeking others to somehow validate or comfort you.
• Growth Mindset: Believing that one has a growth mindset, psychologist Carol Dweck, is crucial. It is an attitude of resilience and adaptability-the notion that intelligence and abilities grow through efforts, rather than being fixed.
• Exploring Diverse Perspectives: Developing your thinking often requires stepping outside the sphere of your parents’ influence and exposing yourself to a wide range of ideas, cultures, and experiences. Traveling, reading, engaging with diverse people, and pursuing new hobbies can all broaden your understanding of the world and your place in it.
• Setting Personal Goals: You, instead of taking the path defined for you by your parents or anybody else, are in a position to set personal goals by which you determine what exactly you want your future to be according to your desires and wants. This is an important step in taking responsibility for one’s autonomy.

Challenges of Breaking Free from Parental Control:

Developing:

Breaking away from your parents never proves to be an easy or hard task. Instead, you’ll face several breaking-free hurdles, among which include
Guilt and Disloyalty. Parents generally require their children their obedience, so that a failure to meet expectations induces a feeling of guilt or ineligibility. This is particularly strong in the cultures where the respect of elders and ties between relatives are claimed utmost significant.

• Fear of judgment would come: when your thinking or lifestyle differed greatly from what was expected of you by your parents. This would make it hard for you to build the determination to assert your independence.
• Lack of Confidence: Developing your mindset requires you to be confident that you can make decisions and have the trust to believe in your judgment. If one has grown up in a household where parents were the primary makers of decisions, it often requires time to eventually gain confidence in independent thinking.
• Attachment and Dependence: Emotional attachment to parents can create dependency, making it hard to assert your thoughts and desires. This attachment may be so strong that it clouds your ability to see situations clearly or act in your best interests.
• Fear of Failure: Having parental support can make things feel safe, and sometimes individuals can be afraid to venture into the unknown. The fear of failure or mistakes may prevent some individuals from taking risks that are necessary for personal growth.

Strategies for Developing Independent Thinking:

Developing:

While it might indeed be a bit challenging to separate your thoughts from those of your parents, it is perfectly possible by keeping your intention and practicing it. Here are a few strategies with which you may develop your thinking:

• Journaling: Write down your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs so you come to a place of settling your perspective. Writing provides space to explore ideas that might be induced by others, which allows you to determine for yourself which of these ideas ring true for you.
• Seek Mentorship: Surround yourself with people out of the circle of relatives so that you get different viewpoints. A mentor will guide you through your journey of self-discovery and give advice that encourages independent thinking.
• Pursue Deep Learning: Learn something outside your comfort zone. Formal education or self-study might expose you to other knowledge fields, deepen your understanding, and foster independent thought.
• Practice self-reflection: Do regular periods of taking a step back to reflect on the decisions made and the thought process. Are they ours, or are you in a tight spot? Self-reflection lets you regain control over your real self.
• Put Boundaries: It is okay to reach out to the parents for advice and support. However, some boundaries should be established. Let them know when you need time by yourself to think and what you want as you ask for their input. This will ensure autonomy without breaking the bonds between you and your parents.
• Develop Resilience: Get used to the idea that you might face failure and setbacks. The more resilient you are, the more authentic your choices are likely to be.

Q and A:

Developing:

1. How would I know if my thoughts are mine, or if they were influenced by my parents?

It is, actually a pretty common question and the answer depends more on introspection. Take time to get to know your core beliefs and values. Are they based on experiences that you had or were they given to you by your parents? How would you feel if they were not there in your life? Do your beliefs still hold on? If not, then you may want to explore other people’s points of view.

2. How can I disagree with my parents without damaging our relationship?

You are bound to disagree with your parents as you grow and learn. The skill is in the way you present your differences with respect and love for their perspective. Listen to their thoughts but also let them hear yours. Open and honest communication keeps the relationship at its best, even if you disagree on issues.

3. When they always guide me.

It is normal to feel lost when anyone changes from dependence on others to independence. However, always remember that self-discovery is a process and may sometimes be unsure. Seeking mentorship, engaging in personal development activities, and practicing self-reflection can help you regain confidence in your abilities.

4. How to get over the failure phobia of building my mindset?

It is natural to fear failure but achievable over practice and patience. Then it begins by setting small goals that challenge you out of your comfort zone so that every small success builds confidence to risk-taking in a bigger way with more resilience.

Conclusion:

Developing:

Development of the self and one’s way of thinking and mindset is the process of being a fully mature individual. While you get most of your early life through your parents, you should question, explore, and refine the beliefs you inherit from them. It is only through critical thinking, self-awareness, and establishing one’s personal goals that a self-concept can be created – unique to the individual, which then allows for authentic living and decision-making in honor of one’s values.
It is a hell of a process to break the thought control of parents, but appropriate strategies and adequate support make it possible to go through this journey becoming stronger, more independent, and more self-confident about your ability to think for yourself.